43° 41' N      73° 12' W

ex·cerpt \ˈekˌsərpt\ (noun); a short extract from a film, broadcast, or piece of music or writing. (verb); take (a short extract) from a text.

two OSSSIES, a male and a female, drink tasters at the bar in a brew pub in killington, vermont. a few moments later, two STONERS arrive and sit next to them. one is so effeminately beautiful he could make a crust as a model, if only he weren’t too high to realise. the other is handsome too, but cuddly: he is undoubtedly the kind of guy who gets friend-zoned frequently. he is wearing pajama pants. both STONERS have beards, which make them look at least seven years older than they probably are.

the OSSSIES and the STONERS order the exact same meals, and a conversation ensues.

MODEL STONER: you guys are from australia? that’s so cool, what are you doing here?

FEMALE OSSSIE: (always unsure whether this question relates to the direct present (getting drunk) or the imminent future (getting lost). she decides on this occasion to assume the latter)

well actually, we are here traveling for a year blah blah blah...

MODEL STONER: that’s so cool.


you guys are livin’ the dream man.

livin’ the dream.

FEMALE OSSSIE: what about you guys, you locals?

MODEL STONER: actually we are from new jersey.

FEMALE OSSSIE: oh yeah? we spent half a day or so walking around a small part of new jersey a couple of years ago.

MODEL STONER: oh yeah.

FEMALE OSSSIE: (taking this response as encouragement to push on. later she will realize she should have stopped here.)

yeah we spent a few hours wandering around the prison there.


FEMALE OSSSIE: i had bought my husband a helicopter flight around manhattan as a surprise for christmas.

more silence

FEMALE OSSSIE: we were looking for the heli-field, which was in new jersey. he had no idea where we were going. he was asking every five minutes “what are we doing?” and i just kept answering “it’s a surprise, it's a surprise"...

after an hour or so walking around the burbs around the new jersey prison, lost, obviously, he turns to me all serious and fearful and says:

“is the surprise that you are going to have me whacked?”

PAJAMA-D STONER laughs out loud.

later, the respective parties get their respective bills and go to part ways in the carpark.

MODEL STONER: hey you know what you guys HAVE to do whilst you are here? you gotta go to the ben and jerry’s factory. it’s not far, about two or three hours away. i went there once when i was a kid...


that was livin’ the dream man.

livin’ the dream.